Its Okay If All You Did Today Was Survive

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         I got a call from my mom last week. My grandmother was getting worse and she wanted to give me the option to come see her before she was no longer with us. On the way down she somehow regained some strength and was in great spirits when I got to the hospital. To my surprise, the hospital was filled with family.

I'm from a huge southern family and I have some cousins I haven't seen in decades. One of them was Rachel - the sweet, gorgeous rebel that married a hot Greek and moved away. Between catching up with her and some family secrets slipping out to the younger generation in the hotel room with 20 people it didn't seem so bad and washed away our sadness.

My Grandmother Mary
My Grandmother Mary

         With everything going on, I have to admit that I did not take good care of myself this weekend. One day, I got food from the cafeteria in hospital - mac-n-cheese, pasta salad, baked beans, and grilled salmon. THEN, my niece informed me she had never had McGriddle so of course we had to stop and get her one.

Reaction to an overgrowth of yeast.
Reaction to an overgrowth of yeast.

Then to top off the 24 hour junk food binge I went on, we brought snacks to the hotel room. I ate chips, salsa, cheese dip, hummus, peanut butter crackers, more chips, and then basically a bottle of wine to myself. I know what you're all thinking…
“WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING!?”

The problem was I wasn’t thinking. I was so excited that we were having a bonding experience with family that I have missed for so long I just didn't really care and let myself slip hoping my allergic reaction wouldn't be that bad.

Side Note: Since our move to Knoxville I finally ran out of my ADHD medication and have not found a new therapist up there to get it prescribed.

My body lit up! I look like I drank red kool aid and it had spilled all over me. My body was so broken out. I started to welt up. I was miserable all day Sunday and almost passed out sitting down at my aunt's house in front of everyone.

Between my grandmother's heart surgery, who as of yesterday is in hospice, my uncle with stage 4 lung and throat cancer, and one of the aunts who has had multiple strokes, all three of them have been in and out of the hospital all year. I was absolutely not going to pass out in front of everyone.

Holding her 28th Great-Grandchild.
Holding her 28th Great-Grandchild.

       My inhaler was in my car. I wanted my EpiPen but if I used it I knew I would have to go to the ER and I didn't want to scare anyone. I was so dizzy, distraught, couldn't breathe, and my skin was burning. I didn't know what to do so I left the 40 plus people inside and rushed out to my car.
       My sister saw me and followed and thankfully she came up as I was about to rip my bra off because I couldn't unsnap it and I couldn't breath. I needed it off! She saw me struggling and unhooked it for me.

Skin so sensitive 
I can write on it.
Skin so sensitive I can write on it.

Unknowingly I laid in my car for over a hour. I finally called my husband and talked it over with him and got him to help calm me down. He wanted me to either go rest at my parents house or if I felt like it was that bad to go to the ER.

I am not one to run to the ER but the fact that this flair up had been going on for days and I couldn't breath I knew I wanted to go to the hospital. But, I didn't want to scare anyone.

My sister, cousin, and brother all stopped by my car in almost 2 hours I had been outside. Finally I decided I wasn't going to be able to walk back into the house with everyone and let my brother take me back to my parents.
I had chest and abdomen pain but hoped that it would go away. One of my other cousins and his girlfriend brought my car back to me. When the 3rd hour passed by with my abdomen hurting and the benadryl doing nothing for the allergy I spoke with another cousin, a hospice nurse, who agreed I needed to go to the emergency room.

       Sooo 1 ER visit turned into 2 different sets of bloodwork, 3 different tests, 4.5hours, and 5 prescriptions later I'm back home (my childhood home.) I didn't want to worry anyone so I made sure it was a secret that I went up to the hospital.
My mother is incredible. She has been taking care of my grandmother and uncle for so long I hated seeing her sitting there in the ER at 2:30am falling asleep beside me. I finally made her get in the bed with me.

Made Mama Rest

It's now 5:00am and I have not been able to fall asleep thanks to the steroid shot I got. So going on 24hours awake. I am currently curled up in my Dad's chair watching You've Got Mail and typing this you all.

Moral of the story: FOLLOW THE RULES!
Don't eat junk! Or you'll look like this!

Reaction to an overgrowth of yeast.

         Hearing all our families stories with all of the other girls it was a nice reminder that we come from a line of strong and independent women. That is why yesterday's #SelfCareSunday and today's #MotivationMonday is…

“Its okay if all you did today was Survive!”
and
“Empowered Women Empower Women!”

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